April 20, 2020

you are not your anxiety by dr. carly crewe

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I'm Carly - an MD Psychotherapist specializing in women's mental health. I help women feel like themselves again.

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the sled by carly crewe, md

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social media boundaries, why you need social media boundaries as a mompreneur, how to set up social media boundaries

When you run a business online, you are inevitably immersed in the online social media world. Through my own journey with mamapreneurship, I have learned that this can have a detrimental impact on my mindset, my productivity and my business success.


So in this post (and the related podcast episode), I’m sharing 7 reasons why it is imperative to create social media boundaries as a mompreneur, as well as sharing tips on how to get started implementing them in your own life.


Let’s dive in!


social media boundaries

In this Episode You Will Learn:

  • The top reasons YOU need social media boundaries in your life as a mom and online entrepreneur.
  • What are social media boundaries?
  • How to get started with social media boundaries for yourself.

PREFER TO LISTEN RATHER THAN READ? You can listen to this content in a podcast episode by clicking here.


I don’t know about you but as a busy mom, clutter and chaos seems to be EVERYWHERE.

In my house

The car.

Don’t even get me started on my iPhone photos. {facepalm}

And especially, IN MY MIND.

Personally, I have noticed that the more cluttered my space is (whether it be my physical space or cognitive space), I feel more scattered. I have less focus and struggle to stay on task.

I use the term mind clutter to refer to all of the extra thoughts and nonsense that rattles around in our brains as moms. Whether it’s our to-do list, our plan for dinner or what was on the last episode of our favourite show, our brains are constantly busy and we have a lot to think about.

And one thing I’ve noticed that without fail contributes to the clutter I have in my mind is my exposure to…SOCIAL MEDIA.

Scrolling on IG or FB exposes our minds to even more information and stimulation to process, more drama to add to our internal monologue and maybe even more enticement to buy things we might not have before (hello, IG ads).

So the first reason for instituting social media boundaries is to limit the extra mental clutter. Don’t you have enough to think about as it is?



While there is a movement to see more authenticity on social media, a lot of what exists on social media is still “highlight reels,” rather than real life.

When we only are seeing the best parts of someone’s life, it is all too easy to fall into a comparison trap. Before you know it, you’re comparing your thighs to hers, her house to yours and even who’s kids are cuter.

In this world of “curated imperfection,” one of the biggest reasons I have implemented boundaries around my social media usage is to limit my tendency to compare.

Comparison is human. It’s our brain’s natural tendency to compare and evaluate, assigning a “better” or “worse” to what we see in order to make sense of our world.

But just because it’s human, doesn’t mean it’s helpful. Have you ever found yourself comparing your business to someone else’s and finding yourself lacking? How about your progress? How does it make you feel?

Be sure to read below about when I went on a social media hiatus to learn about how clear the comparison trap became to me after limiting my social media exposure for only one day.



One thing I’ve noticed about social media is that it exposes me to so much more drama than I would usually expose myself to.

It also provides me with countless opportunities to engage with or become aware of things that I was totally OK not being aware of.

Ads selling the newest gadget, a post about your Aunt Julie’s third cousin with brain cancer or the latest scandal from a movie star, and you’re wrapped up in drama that you likely otherwise wouldn’t have engaged in.

Does this sound familiar to you?

By instituting social media boundaries in your life (whether it be the time you spend on social media or who/what you follow), it allows you to be intentional about what you allow into your mind.

It allows you to be intentional about the social media you consume and what you choose to invest your time and energy in. This is invaluable to me.



I would hazard a guess that you waste a bunch of time on social media. Likely more than you’d prefer you did.

I know this because I also used to feel this way.

Let’s face it, social media is one of the biggest drains on our time.

It usually starts innocently enough (“I’ll just check this one message,”) and before you know it, you’re scrolling for 45 minutes and have wasted valuable time.

This is one of the most important reasons to implement social media boundaries in your life. As a mom and entrepreneur, you’re well aware of how valuable your time is. There are so many other more effective ways to be spending it than social media.



Social media boundaries are not just important for our mental health and businesses, but also incredibly important for our children. There are two main reasons why I believe this is the case.

We are our children’s first models of what humans do.

I recall when my twins were very young being acutely aware how much time I spent on my phone, as I knew they were always observing me. I imagined what it must be like for a newborn or young baby to see the adults of their species and see them all walking around with a small device, staring at it constantly.

Without any more context, I realize that children may think that our phones are literally part of our bodies, something that we constantly have. A fifth appendage, even. I realized that this was not something I wanted my children to believe or see.

We must remember that as mothers, our children are looking to us as models of how to be humans. Our frequent use, or almost addiction, to scrolling on social media and having our phones in our faces is what they are seeing when we don’t limit our exposure and consumption of social media.

Our children deserve to feel more important than our phones.

Furthermore, our time on social media also degrades our presence with our children. Children want our full attention when we are with them, and can immediately detect when you are no longer present, when your mind is somewhere else.

It is even more obvious to them when we are constantly checking our phones and responding to every notification on social media. Indirectly, by doing so, we are telling our children that whatever is on social media is more important than them.

I don’t know about you, but I know for CERTAIN for me, that is not true. I also never want my children to think this or feel this way.

Implementing boundaries around your social media consumption is critical to ensuring your children know that you are more important than your phone and more than anything on social media.

 Are you addicted to social media? As a mom or mompreneur, having healthy boundaries around social media is important. Read why you need social media boundaries and how to create healthy social media boundaries.


Where do you go when you’re trying to “check-out” or not feel your emotions?

What do you feel like doing when you’re sad, angry or feel defeated?

You buffer.

Buffering activities are those activities we engage in (often mindlessly) so that we do not have process or feel our emotions. I tend to call these the “overs” with my clients, and they include over-eating, over-drinking, over-sleeping, over-shopping and over-scrolling. There are many more as well.

The reality is that social media scrolling has become a potent buffering activity for many of us. We end up mindlessly open Facebook without eve thinking about it throughout the day, and filling our brains with noise rather than dealing with whatever is happening at the moment. This is not said to shame you, but rather draw your attention to your habit of doing this.

It’s often easier to just mindlessly consume social media content than have to deal with your kids whining, process your frustration with your business growth or face your self-doubts head on. I totally get it.

Social media boundaries can be helpful to make you aware of how often you engage in social media scrolling to buffer your emotions. This is important as it increases your awareness of your own behaviour. I say often that awareness is the key to change.

When you are intentional about limiting your social media time, you will be more aware when you turn to your phone to numb your emotions or fix your boredom.

Instead of doing it anyway and mindlessly buffering your emotions, take a moment to process what’s happening with you right then, and whether there’s something that needs to be processed or worked out in your mind.



You should breastfeed.

Don’t co-sleep.

A good mother doesn’t do that.

I think I can speak for all moms everywhere when I say we need to intentionally limit our exposure to expectations society places on mothers.

As high achieving moms, we already set high expectations for ourselves. Exposing yourself to social media without limits exposes you to even more expectations than you’re likely putting on yourself.

One of the best ways I know of to reduce my own exposure to all of these “shoulds” and expectations is to limit my time on social media.

Maybe you didn’t consider your child’s development as a concern until you saw your friend’s child walking 2 months earlier than yours.

Or perhaps you didn’t think you staying home from work a bit longer was an issue until you saw your cousin going back to work after having her baby.

When we constantly expose ourselves to social media, we are exposed to more and more standards to achieve and expectations to meet.

Personally, I have had enough of societal expectations in motherhood. I use social media boundaries to reduce the amount of expectation I am exposed to on a regular basis, so I can clear the noise and listen to what is really true for me and my family.





When I first started my online business, I remember feeling that it was MY JOB to be available to my business at all times on social media.


I feared missing a message or email from a prospective client. I felt that I should be kept up-to-date on everything. Every follow, every message, everything.


It took me some time and working with my own coach to realize that I was doing my mindset and my productivity a real disservice when I kept my self at the whim of every like, every follow and every message. Throughout my day, I would constantly find myself becoming interrupted and feel compelled to react each time my phone lit up or made a sound, notifying me of action on social media.


Inevitably, one notification would find me lost in my social media feed, all of a sudden urged to respond or engage. Sometimes I would find myself scrolling still 25 minutes later!


By turning off my notifications, I’ve been able to be more intentional with my choice to go on social media. Instead of unconsciously being baited by a notification in the middle of my day (ie. with my kids or at work), I choose time intentionally throughout my day to engage in social media content. This in turn helps me be more intentional about my consumption of social media as a whole, and gives me back the control of my mind and focus.


Consider turning your social media notifications OFF. This includes the sounds, the banner on your phone and even the little red dot that pops up on the icon.



Consider limiting your social media time to 1-2 periods in the day that you designate specifically for social media. I recommend these be in the later morning or early afternoon.


When I go on social media at my 30 minute “social media moment” in the late morning, I do so with intention. I may post for the day, engage with followers or respond to messages.



Whether it’s through a service such as Tailwind, Later or Planoly, I highly recommend using a scheduling service for posting your social media content.


If you do not have to go on social media every single day to post for the day, you can save yourself from being on social media as much.



I believe the two most important mindset moments in our day is right after waking for the day and right before bed. I highly recommend implementing social media boundaries in these times.


If you engage with social media first thing in the morning, you’re exposing your brain to all of the clutter and chaos of the world, and everything comes rushing back before you’ve even had a chance to rise for the day and take care of yourself.


Tip: Avoid social media consumption for the 1st hour after waking up.


There are so many reasons why social media before bed is a terrible idea. First of all, the light of a screen shining right into your eyes is signalling to your brain that it is not time to rest, but rather to be awake. This can impact our ability to fall asleep and cause interrupted sleep. Furthermore, consuming social media right before bed fills our brains with all of the comparison, drama and extra “clutter” just as we are hoping to settle in for a rest.


Tip: Avoid social media for the last hour before bedtime.



Muting or unfollowing accounts that make you feel less-than-happy is a very important social media boundary to implement.


Pay attention to how you feel as you spend time on social media. If you sense yourself feeling self-doubt, sadness or shame after engaging with someone’s content on social media, UNFOLLOW THEM.


Remember: You are responsible for what kind of content you allow onto your social media feed and into YOUR MIND. Unfollow. Mute the toxic posts. Take back control.


Use your social media feed as a place of positive inspiration and encouragement by following and engaging with content that makes you feel good. Curate your experience to support YOU.


Tip: Instagram has a MUTE feature that you can use to ensure you do not see someone’s posts or stories. By clicking the three little dots on a post, you can select “Mute.” Easy-peasy.


Tip: If you use Firefox, you can download an app called News Feed Eradicator for free. This removes your Facebook news feed and instead replaces it with a positive, uplifting quote from someone famous. #gamechanger.


Are you addicted to social media? As a mom or mompreneur, having healthy boundaries around social media is important. Read why you need social media boundaries and how to create healthy social media boundaries.


Have you ever taken an entire day off from social media?


If you haven’t, I highly encourage it.


I try going on a “social media break” at least once every two weeks. This means that for an entire day, I avoid social media completely. I have foudn this to be an incredibly powerful exercise.


When I first went on a social media break, I was shocked at how different I felt throughout the day. I didn’t find myself falling into comparison, feeling anxious about my business or falling into distraction as often.


In fact, it wasn’t until I went back on social media the next day and felt a flushing of comparison, self-doubt and anxiety about my business that I realized the power that social media had over my mindset.


I realized that during this social media hiatus, I was more present with my children. My mind was focused and I felt more present in my day-to-day activities. I felt better and was overall less anxious.


Social media is not all bad, but it can have a huge impact on our mindset, our focus on our businesses and our ability to be present with our children.


By implementing healthy boundaries around social media usage, we can be more productive, calm and more effective as mompreneurs.


What do you think? Do you think social media boundaries are important? What sort of boundaries do you have around social media?

social media boundaries, why you need social media boundaries as a mompreneur

You’ve got this!

Carly Crewe, Mindset Coach for Mompreneurs, Coach for Aspiring Mompreneurs, Mindset Coach for Moms, Mindset Coach, Coach for Entrepreneurs

PS. Are you following me Instagram? If not, lady WHAT is going on? I love IG and share lots of behind-the-scenes, biz mindset tips and ways that I live an intentional life as a mamapreneur. YOU SHOULD BE THERE! Be sure to send me a DM to say HEY!








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  Are you addicted to social media? As a mom or mompreneur, having healthy boundaries around social media is important. Read why you need social media boundaries and how to create healthy social media boundaries.


Are you addicted to social media? As a mom or mompreneur, having healthy boundaries around social media is important. Read why you need social media boundaries and how to create healthy social media boundaries.


Are you addicted to social media? As a mom or mompreneur, having healthy boundaries around social media is important. Read why you need social media boundaries and how to create healthy social media boundaries.


Are you addicted to social media? As a mom or mompreneur, having healthy boundaries around social media is important. Read why you need social media boundaries and how to create healthy social media boundaries.


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